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Help! How to give a *******? (BJ)?
My boyfriend of a while wants me to give him a ********. He is two years older then I am and I'm sure has gotten a ******** before. I really want to give him one, but there is a problem: I have no idea how to give one. Like I don't even know the basics! I REALLY need some help here. So I'm asking for three things:

1: A detailed step-by-step list of instructions on how to give a good ******** (like a play-by-play)

2: dirty tricks that you used before, during, or after giving a ********

3: What should I do: Spit or Swallow?

THANKS SO MUCH

Spit or not, most don't care either way .... all guys are different. Today you can learn alot just by viewing some of the clips that can be found on the internet, you can watch their techniques and become an expert without ever even doing it before.

Is my new boyfriend gonna think in some sort of weird slut? I need a guys opinion...?
Ok so here is the story...I have had 2 partners - my ex boyfriend, and now my current boyfriend whom i just began sleeping with. The problem is that I am really not good at oral sex and his instructions are confusing so I decided to buy one of those instructional books (you know like 'how to tickle his pickle' tehe). So is he going to think that I am uh you know a little too experienced if I suddenly know how to give a good ******* cause of the book or will he just not care and be happy? I think that the average guy would laugh if i were to tell him that I read an oral sex book lol. opinions? :)

If you at the point in your relationship to were you guys are having sex then I don't think it will matter. So I think its good to read even if it sexual instructional So I would rather read a mosby medical book and learn how to treat an illness better than to read. The fox and chicken. So he will most likely laugh and enjoy what new techniques you have learned.

Are these little johnny jokes old now or still funny?
Little Johnny goes to school, and the teacher says, 'Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny waves his hand, 'Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!'

Miss Rogers:'All right, little Johnny, what is your multi-syllable word?'

Little Johnny says, 'Mas-tur-bate.'

Miss Rogers smiles and says, 'Wow, little Johnny, that's a mouthful.'

Little Johnny says, 'No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a *******".

2.
Johnny was sitting in class one day. All of a sudden he needed to go to the bathroom.

He yelled out, "Miss Jones, I need to take a piss!!"

The teacher replied, "Now, Johnny, that is NOT the proper word to use in this situation. The correct word you want to use is 'urinate.' Please use the word 'urinate' in a sentence correctly, and I will allow you to go."

Little Johnny thinks for a bit, then says, "You're-an-eight, but if you had bigger ****, you'd be a ten!!!"

3.
The teacher of a first grade class gives instructions to the little boys on how to go to the bathroom.

The teacher tells them the following:
One - unzip your zipper
Two - pull your pecker out
Three - stroke the skin back
Four - take a pee
Five - stroke the skin forward
Six - put it away and zip up the zipper

So the boys go to do their thing and return a few minutes later. The teacher asks, "Where is Little Johnny?"

One of the boys replies "He is still in the bathroom."

The teacher goes down the hall to the boy's restroom and hears Little Johnny "Three, Five, Three, Five, Three, Five............"

lol funny ones :) !!!

Creamy cocktail....? "star" if funny............?
Girl and her boyfriend go to the pub. When it's the girl's turn to buy a round, she tells him that she's heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try.

She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses. One contains a measure of Bailey's, the other lime juice.

Instructions: "OK, what you gotta do is, you gotta swig the Bailey's, hold it in your mouth, and then drink the lime juice."

He looks a bit dubious, but she's very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go.

First the Bailey's; lovely smooth, creamy, warm feeling in the mouth. Then he takes the lime juice.

T + 0.1 secs: The cream in the Bailey's curdles.
T + 0.3 secs: Boyfriend's face turns the colour of fresh lime juice.
T + 0.6 secs: Boyfriend calms his stomach & swallows the gunge.
T + 1.5 secs: She whispers in his ear....

"It's called ******* revenge"

Ho Ho Ho like it DC, There will be a extra prezzie in your stocking for that one