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Read this!?
Tina Turner
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Jump to: navigation, search
“TINA! If you don't get yo big, black *** back here, I'm gonna have yo dead carcus rollin' down the river!”


~ Ike Turner on Tina Turner
“Tina Turner made me marmalade puree for my homeless fish!... I'll never forget her.”


~ Oscar Wilde on Tina Turner
“ I LOVE Tina because she reminds me of a man in drag. She has some sexy legs man...very sexy! Keep it going Tina!”


~ Oprah on Tina Turner
“ DADDY WHOOPED YO ***!!!”


~ Ike Jr. on Tina Turner
Tina Turner is a rock singer who's voice is certified by the Tinnis Book of World Records as the loudest noise originating from a mammal on the planet.
Tina Turner in her Private Dancer phaseBorn Ike Turner, in the small mining village of Andy Rooney, Turner grew up white. She overcame the prejudices and rampant sexual come-ons that being white comes with by dying her skin with Hershey's Chocolate Syrup, which she tastes like until this very day.

[edit] Four Equal Signs and Read This ****, too
When Turner was 94, she was caught having sexual relations with Rolling Bones lead singer Click Jagger during what was supposed to be a charity concert to raise funds for the Romanovs, Oldenburgs and other deposed European Royalty. Keith Richards watched on and laughed a smoker's hack, coughing up the Afghani poppy crop for the year 1969. After rolling over, Turner was quoted as saying to Jagger "You know, you're simply the best. Better than ALLL the rest" and a hit single was born.

Noted for her goodwill efforts to help spread the legs of Sharon Stone, Turner is today a prominent ingredient of many of the 31 Flavors and is currently married to the president George W. Bush who is actually her cousin, or father (it's the South!). They had many guyren but decided on aborting them after birth via a space time rip, thus leading to the "Turner-Bush-Paradox" they never happened (oh but they did!!!).

[edit] Walk On the Wild Side, or How To Finally Catch Moose and Squirrel
Turner is also a noted leg. Some of the most famous in the world, her legs are often photographed and have in the past been deep fried by the Kentucky Colonel himself. If you turn the right one three times to the right and stop at 32, once to the left and stop of 12, and once more to the right until you reach 3, Baby Jesus will free my soul.

[edit] Songs
I Can't Stand the Rain(And it smells like dog piss out here. LET ME BACK IN THE HOUSE, IKE!!)

I Don't Wanna Fight(I Swear I Won't Try to Poison You Again)

Let's Stay Together(Just Get That Knife Away From My Neck)

Private Dancer(What The Hell Is This Hoe Doing Here, Ike)

Retrieved from "uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Tina_Turne…
"WE DON'T NEED ANOTHER HERO"
Black Man The One You Pick When All Other Options Are Gone?
This guy on Youtube summed up what I feel. I see IR relationships and in general have no problem with it. But there are exceptions and I will speak on them below. If you love him and he loves you for you then go at it. As long as you two are on EQUAL I say EQUAL footing.
Black men feel free to speak on this. Hey Asian(Also Indian), White, Hispanics, and Blacks feel free to jump into this to. If I was to turn what I see on a daily basis into a reality show I would call it Black men and the love for Humongous girls.

Again why do I see so many damnnnn Black men with fat overweight Weight chicks when they themselves are relatively skinny guys. I never see skinny White girls with fat Black men.
Black men the chubby chasing has got to end. Every time I turn around some big girl thinks I want her. It goes triple if she is White.

She just knows this Black man wants her so bad and has no shame in her game. She would not even approach a White man but hey Blackie wants it, he likes everything right? WRONG! I do not usually date chubby girls and only BIG girls I dated where Black and maybe another race. But that was long ago.

Black men stop being the guy of last resort. If the White man won't touch it doesn't that tell you something??? Take the clue and leave it on the beach. Damn have some self respect, if you do not date fat Black women PLEASE PLEASE brother do not date fat White girls. I get tired of them thinking they got me. I get tired of them staring me down like I am an all you can eat buffet. When you go chubby you only reinforce that negative behavior that Black men are the catch all. Other men threw that back out to sea but not us we reel that in like it is a huge *** Marlin.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=p1XELlGpd…
ROFL !!! to each their own, guy. i, personally, love women of all shapes, sizes, colors, & beliefs. i'm too damn old to care if she looks like some skinny *** model you see on tv. what i do care about is if she's about something. if a woman has a good heart, & a good head on her shoulders, then she's golden. now ask yourself this question ... how many women do you actually KNOW have both & fit into your "standards?" now how many men do you think can say the same?

& dun blame guys for women being "hungry" for you (lmao ... too funny). peace out, man !!!
Do you ever think astronomy is useless bullshit?
don't get me wrong, i love astronomy and want to become and astronaut, but i think most of the stuff is useless

like everything is a theory, teachers like to tell me I'm wrong for tests and stuff but the truth is they don't know half the **** they're talking about, it's just a theory along with everything else i learned

the big bang, black holes, expansion, string, and many others, they're all theories, not proven
the only stuff we know is what spacecraft have confirmed, we haven't even visited 1% of our own solar system and were planning long term human survival already
like can you believe nasa is actually spending funds on researching what to do when the sun goes out in 4.5 billion years...i can almost guarantee humans won't last that long
and stuff like traveling to other galaxies...which will not happen and even if it does you know how hard it is to find a planet in a big *** galaxy

of all the things in the universe humans understand less than a billionth % of it
you get my point

so what do you think feel free to write a lot ill read it got nothing else to do
Millions of years ago people started to explore (or what passes as human at the time). We are here now asking questions much the same as you are. The others stayed hanging around in trees and sometimes you see them in Zoo's.
Who remembers a 60s/70s band, Funkadelic?They blended black funk, soul and streetwise jive with complex.......?
........psychedelia, which is unique in my opinion.
Their biggest album was "Free Your Mind And Your *** Will Follow!"
Who recalls them, and are they still doing anything musically - they are American??
Yes they still tour as George Clinton and the P Funk All Stars. One of the greatest bands ever. I know that a lot of the Parliament-Funkadelic musicians still play in the group.
BIg Brother????????????
My big brother was Big's brother
Used to be Dame and Bigs brother
Who was hip hop brother
Who was No I.D friend
No I.D My mentor
Now let the story begin

Its the hard knock life tour
Sell out, picture us in the mall
Copin iceberg and yell out Jigga
Yea that's what we would yell out
Yell out
You know the name dude
I gotta spell out or tell bout
J a y an Ye so shy
Now he won't even step to his idal to say hi
Standing there like a mom
Let the chance pass by
Back of my mind he could change your life
With all these beats I did atleast let him hear it
Atleast you could brag to your friends back at the gig
But he got me out my mama crib
Then he help me get my mama a crib

Big brother was Bigs Brother
Used to be Dame and Bigs Brother
Who was hip hop brother
Who was No I.D friend
No I.D my mentor
Now let the story begin
Let the story begin
If you feel the way I feel why don't you wave your hands

Fresh off the plane I'm off to Baseline
Nothing handed out
I'm about to take mine
Around the same time of that BluePrint 1
Any beats in my pocket was that Blueprint form
I'd play my little song in that ol back room
He would bob his head and say, damn, oh, that's you
But by the Black album I was blacking out
Party at S.O.Bs and we had packed the crowd
Big brother got his show up in Madison Sqare
And I'm like yea, yea we gonna be there
But not only did I not get a chance to spit it
Carleen told me I could buy two tickets
I guess big brother was thinking a little different
Kept little brother at bay, at a distance
Put everything I felt was more focused
Only made me more focused
Only wrote more potent
Only thing I wanna know is why I get looked over
I guess ill understand when I get more older
Big brother saw me at the bottom of the todum
Now I'm at the top and everybody on the scrodum

My big Brother was Bigs brother
Used to be Dame and Bigs brother
Who was hip hops brother
Who was No I.Ds friend
No I.D my mentor
Now let the story begin
Begin
Let the story begin
If you feel the way I feel why don't you wave your hands

Have you ever walked in the shadow of a giant
Not only a client the presidito
Hola ovito
The game getting foul so here's a free throw
I was always on the other side of the peep hole
Then I dropped jesus walks now I'm on a steep hole
And we know
New jack city gotta keep my brother
But to be number 1 I'm a beat my brother
On that diamond remix I swore I spaz
Then my big brother came thru and kicked my ***
Sibling rivery, only I could see
It was the pride in me that was driving me
At the grammys I said I inspired me
But my big brother who I always tried to be
When I kick a flow it was like, pick and roll
Cuz even if he gave me the rock its give and go
I guess beanies style was more of a slam dunk
And my **** was more like a finger roll
but I had them singles though
And them hoes at the show gonna minggle yo.
Ya know
I told Jay I did a song with cold play
Next thing I know he got a song with coldplay
Back in my mind I'm like damn, no way
Translate espanol
No way jose
Then I went and told Jay brown
Should of known that was gonna come back around
Should of told you like a man should of told you first
But I told somebody else that's what made **** worse

My big brother was Bigs brother
So here's a few words from your guy brother
If you admire somebody you should go ahead and tell um
People never get the flowers while they could smell um
A idel in my eyes, God of the game
Heart of the city,Rockafella chain
Never be the same, never be another
Number 1 young Hov also my big brother

My big Brother was Bigs brother
Used to be Dame and Bigs Brother
Who was hip hops brother
Who was No I.Ds friend
No I.D my mentor
And that's where the story ends
Kanye, I dig it. Love this song.
White people look good with everyone elses features?
I know some people might get offended. In all seriousness, sorry. But I can't help it. This is something that is going on in society that get's on my nerves (SIGH)

Here's my questions

A. Why to this day do people keep giving props to white women who have something that is WAAAAY more prevalent on other women?

B. Why do white people ON THE INTERNET get so offended when someone points out a difference between them and another race of people? I wasn't trying to offend, honestly. I was simply pointing out an observation. (Black women generally have bigger asses and lips GENERALLY! Not all black women have this, let's just say NOT EVEN THE MAJORITY. But compared to white women they tend to be bigger in the butt. Why does this hurt some people so badly??? I don't get it. Honestly. :-(

C. Why do people to this day still
A. Deny that these people have this feature but then
2. Over hype themselves when they have that SAME feature? SMH!!! Big asses are gross but are sexy when we have it??? WTF!!!???

Btw I despise Kim Kardashian!!! I don't like this idea that a blatantly, fake white chick get's a free pass by society to be a FAMOUS SLUT!!!

Please help me to understand. There's definitely something psychological to this. It's kinda sad. I really do hope for some day where people can be okay with their physiology and and not be so insecure. But the way it is now. That day might not ever come. (sigh)
i totally agree with you, everyone in society has their different opinions, and are titled to it, people are going to get offend alot, but hey, their the ones who wants to take it to the heart
Which one of these girls do you guys think is hotter?
www.flickr.com/photos/64662136@N02/5890998809/
Is it the blonde or the one with black hair,
additional details include: the one with blonde hair has nice boobs but they are kinda small, she is about 5 foot 8 and has amazing legs!!!!!! . The one with black hair is about 5 foot 6 has pretty big boobs and a big *** :) and she has nice thighs also she is half white half indian.
- so what i am trying to ask is this if you had to pick betwen these girls to you know **** which one would it be. Lesbians are free to answer as well
Do they know you're doing this?
Can you read these lyrics and tell me what they mean?
All Spoken, Except When Noted Otherwise]
What a skeletal wreck of a man this is
Translucent flesh and feeble bones
The kind of temple where the whores and villians try to tempt the holistic tones
Running rampant with free thought to free form the free and clear
And the matters at hand are shelled out like lint at a laundromat to sift and focus on the bigger, better, NOW
We all have a little sin that needs venting, virtues for the rending and laws and systems and stems ripped from the branches of office do you know what your post entails?
Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?
Wind down inside your adivistic allure, the value of a summer spent and a winter earned
For the rest of us there is always sunday
The day of the week that reeks of rest but all we do is catch our breath so we can wade naked into the bloody pool and place our hand on the big black book
To watch the knives zigzag between our aching fingers
A vacation is a countdown
T minus your life and counting
Time to drag your tongue across the sugar cube and hope you get a taste
WHAT THE **** IS ALL THIS FOR? (*background*WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?) SHUT UP!
I could go on and on but let's move on shall we?
Say, you're me and I'm you and they all watch the things we do and like a smack of spite they threw me down the stairs haven't felt like this in years the great magnet of malicious magnanimous refuse
Let me go and plunge me into the dead spot again
That's where you go when theres no one else around it's just you and there was never anyone to begin with now was there?
Sanctimonious pretentious dastardly bastards with their thumb on the pulse and a finger on the trigger
CLASSIFIED MY *** THAT'S A ******* SECRET AND YOU KNOW IT!
Government is another way to say better, than, you!
It's like ice but no pick a murder charge that won't stick its like a whole other world where you can smell the food
But you can't touch the silverware
*laughs* What luck!
Facism you can vote for
*snorts* Isn't that sweet
And were all gonna die someday 'cause that's the american way and I've drunk too much and said too little when you're gaffer taped in the middle say a prayer save face get yourself together and (*sung in the background* SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING!) SHUT UP! (*background* **** YOU!) **** YOU!
I'm sorry I could go on and on but its time to move on so
Remember, your a wreck an accident
Forget the freak your just nature
Keep the gun oiled and the temple clean
****, snort and blaspheme let the heads cool and the engine run because in the end everything we do, is just everything we've done.
What is the song name?
Spanish???????????????????????…
can someone change these lyrics, and make spanish conjugation lyrics out of it? Here are the lyrics: I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla on the house)
I'm gonna dress my ***
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
He terminado con cola
A los clubes nunca vamos a entrar en
Es como el final de la novena
Y yo nunca voy a ganar
Esta vida no ha resultado
Por el camino que quiero que sea

(Dime lo que quieras)

Quiero una casa nueva
En un episodio de pesebres
Y un cuarto de baño que puedo jugar béisbol en
Y una tina de tamaño lo suficientemente grande como rey
Durante diez más me

(Entonces, ¿qué necesita?)

Voy a necesitar una tarjeta de crédito que tiene un límite
Y un chorro grande y ***** con un dormitorio en el mismo
Que va a unirse a la Mile High Club
A los treinta y siete mil pies

(He estado allí, hecho eso)

Quiero un nuevo autobús turístico lleno de guitarras antiguas
Mi propia estrella en Hollywood Boulevard
En algún lugar entre Cher y
James Dean me va bien

(Entonces, ¿cómo lo vas a hacer?)

Voy comercio de esta vida para la fortuna y fama
Incluso me había cortado el pelo y cambiar mi nombre

[Chorus:]
Porque todos nosotros sólo quieren ser grandes estrellas del rock
Y viven en casas de alto de una colina de conducción quince coches
Las chicas vienen fácil y los medicamentos son baratos
A todos nos quedaremos causa flaco "simplemente no va a comer
Y vamos a pasar el rato en los bares más
En el VIP, con las estrellas de cine
Cada buscador de oro buena
Gonna viento allá arriba
Cada conejita de Playboy
Con su pelo rubio lejía

Hey hey quiero ser una estrella del rock
Hey hey quiero ser una estrella del rock

Quiero ser grande como Elvis sin las borlas
Alquiler de ocho guardias de cuerpo que el amor a golpear a chismosos
Firmar un autógrafo Pareja
Así que puedo comer mis comidas gratis
(Voy a tener la quesadilla en la casa)
Voy a vestir a mi ***
Con la última moda
Obtener una puerta de entrada clave para la mansión de Playboy
Fecha Gonna una página central que le encanta
Restos de mi dinero para mí
(Entonces, ¿cómo lo vas a hacer?)
Voy comercio de esta vida para la fortuna y fama
Incluso me había cortado el pelo y cambiar mi nombre

[Chorus]

Y vamos a esconder en las habitaciones privadas
Con el último diccionario y de hoy ¿Quién es quién
Le conseguirán nada con esa sonrisa mal
Todo el mundo tiene un traficante de drogas en la velocidad de línea, bien

Hey hey quiero ser una estrella del rock

Voy a cantar esas canciones
Que ofenden a los censores
Que va a sacar mis píldoras de un dispensador de Pez


Conseguiré acabada de los cantantes escrito todas mis canciones
em lip sync "cada noche, así que no te 'em mal

[Chorus]

Y vamos a esconder en las habitaciones privadas
Con el último diccionario y de hoy ¿Quién es quién
Le conseguirán nada con esa sonrisa mal
Todo el mundo tiene un traficante de drogas en la velocidad de línea

Hey hey quiero ser una estrella de rock
Hey hey quiero ser una estrella de rock
Can someone give an in depth analysis of the poetic/literary/rhetorical devices used in Rockstar by Nickelback?
"Rockstar"

I'm through with standing in line
To clubs we'll never get in
It's like the bottom of the ninth
And I'm never gonna win
This life hasn't turned out
Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house
On an episode of Cribs
And a bathroom I can play baseball in
And a king size tub big enough
For ten plus me

(So what you need?)

I'll need a credit card that's got no limit
And a big black jet with a bedroom in it
Gonna join the mile high club
At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars
My own star on Hollywood Boulevard
Somewhere between Cher and
James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus:]
'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars
And live in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat
And we'll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger's
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
With her bleach blond hair

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels
Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes
Sign a couple autographs
So I can eat my meals for free
(I'll have the quesadilla on the house)
I'm gonna dress my ***
With the latest fashion
Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion
Gonna date a centerfold that loves to
Blow my money for me
(So how you gonna do it?)
I'm gonna trade this life for fortune and fame
I'd even cut my hair and change my name

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial, well

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs
That offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills from a pez dispenser

I'll get washed-up singers writing all my songs
lip sync 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

[Chorus]

And we'll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary and today's who's who
They'll get you anything with that evil smile
Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
LOL
honey, a song like that doesn't even require thought to produce, let alone literary and rhetorical devices
pick a better band to dissect the literary devices, because i doubt chad kroeger can even spell 'literary.'

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